sorelatable:

I hate when i lose something and my parents says “well i guess you didnt care about it enough” like you’ve lost me in a grocery store before so

meladoodle:

*walks up to newborn baby* haha fuckin virgin

howunpleasant:

friday at school i heard some girl in the hall way scream “FOR THE LAST TIME BITCH IM LESBIAN IM NOT TRYING TO STEAL YOUR BOYFRIEND HE SMELLS LIKE KETCHUP ANYWAYS”

averagefairy:

why do they even include 2014 as an option when selecting your birth year online like u fresh out the womb ready to join gmail

ombrume:

you know that feeling when nothing’s wrong but nothing’s right either

interiorly:

I hate it when someone is hot and funny like stop that you only get one

  • WiFi: connected
  • Me: then fucking act like it